Ok, my cool points might go down in the eyes of all you hipsters and indie rockers out there, but I need to get something off my sequin and lace chest. I love pop music. There. I said it. Stop shaking your heads in disgust. My mother taught me to be proud of who I am, and I’m not going to live in the shame shadows any longer!
I used to find myself trying to hide my beat-loving tendencies from people I respected. I didn’t want them to think I was uncultured or shallow or dumb, so I programmed the last preset button of my radio to NPR. That way I could quickly hit the fifth button on my console to impress the socially elite travelers who found themselves climbing into my Honda Accord.
But Danielle, you are 28 years old. How on earth can you listen to such drivel?
The answer is simple, friends.
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Sometimes I don’t want to think anymore.
I work all day, and have to deal with very difficult people. I come home and read the news and realize that the world is going down the toilet faster than a brick-eating troll’s daily bowel movements. Sometimes there is no better release from the tortures of every day life than listening to repetitive bass lines with catchy hooks that have no profound impact on the world around me. Yes, Kelis, your milkshake undoubtedly bring all the boys to the yard. Of course they prefer your milkshake to mine. I’m glad you charge a fee for your teaching services. Ahhh. Sweet, sweet release.
There is an Inner Freak Inside Us All
Go on, admit it. You love to hate the outrageous fashion of pop icons. There is a reason why the fabric (or lack thereof) draping singers’ bodies can make it to the front page of cnn.com. We all have a secret burning desire to ruffle our peacock feathers and make bold and daring wardrobe decisions…..but only a select few are brave enough (and paid enough) to do it. While I don my standard jeans, sneakers, sports bra and t-shirt, I live vicariously through pop stars who wear things like this:
And this:
And lets not forget this: 
Who knew fashion could be so bold…so delicious…so nutritious!
If I’m Going Through A Hard Time I Don’t Want To Be Reminded Of All My Pain…I Want To Dance My Feelings Away
I have the utmost respect for singer/songwriters. I do. But when things in my life are more poison ivy and monsoons than roses and sunshine I don’t want to listen to someone accurately articulate the misery that is brewing within me. I would much rather find a song that I can blast in my car while driving down the highway entertaining passers by with my interpretive steering wheel dance moves.
When this song plays it makes me feel like I’m being slowly crushed to death by a group of sad pandas:
But this song makes me want to assault any woodwind playing schmuck that dares get close enough to my gyrating pelvis.
I love all kinds of music: country, rap, jazz, folk, indie. Now is the time to come out of my pop music closet and let my Rihannagagaspears flag fly! If you are ready to embrace the pop in you, say it with me now: Ra ra ah ah ahhh…..
Do you have any guilty pleasures? Share them in the comments section below!
guf·faw 